“I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings.”
Sound familiar? This statement usually comes on the back end of someone caught in a lie.
Before I get any further, I realize this is kind of dark territory to delve into. But during the past week, my thoughts — and even some dreams — were invaded by themes of betrayal or breaches of trust, both past and present. So, here we are.
When you think of someone telling a lie, most of us think of the person who blurts out something that simply isn’t factual. It can be about something totally serious or completely irrelevant. This is called a “lie of commission.”
But there’s another way to achieve deception, and it can be even more manipulative and hurtful. It’s called a “lie of omission.” It leaves out (omits) pertinent facts to distort someone else’s perception and understanding of the truth. It is intentional and selfish.
In case your conscience didn’t tell you already, staying silent or purposely excluding damning details isn’t honest. It’s a very strategic form of deceit.
Simply put: This. Behavior. Kills. Trust.
When utilizing this kind of lie, you hurt the person you intended to protect (besides yourself), because you were too concerned with self-preservation to deliver the truth in an honest and tactful way.
What someone doesn’t know can’t hurt them, right? But what happens when they find out?
Let’s be real, of course we’ve all lied before. This is just a friendly reminder that lying to those you love or care about — is not cool. Lies slaughter friendships and relationships.
When devastation lies on the other side of a half-truth… Was it worth it to tell?
*Post title is an unapologetic reference to this Fleetwood Mac song.