“Our culture has taken romantic relationships, a good thing, and made them into an ultimate thing.
Put relationships back in their place, and take a look at just how expansive your life is; it might be in flux, but it’s complete — romantic partner or not.”
Wow. This really hit me when I read it.
Whether you’re single, in a relationship, or happily (or unhappily) married, here’s an important reminder: You are enough.
Yes. You. By yourself. Are enough.
I’m telling you this because society does this thing. It fosters this romanticized idea that another person automatically makes you appear more valuable to others; that a relationship immediately attaches more meaning to your life. Suddenly, it’s more “complete.”
This is a fake concept! This is unhealthy! Stop thinking this right now!
Yeah, I am kind of yelling because I believed in that falsity for a long time. I would feel defective or inferior when I was single, or hopped from one relationship to the next, too fearful to be alone.
This lack of self-worth was driven by my own negative thought patterns, but common social interactions casually reinforce unhealthy or irrelevant expectations literally all the time.
Sometimes (oftentimes?) it happens during an innocent conversation with a relative, acquaintance, or stranger:
“Are you dating anyone?”
If the answer is no: “Really? I don’t understand why someone like you would be single, you’re so pretty/successful/(insert adjective here)!”
If the answer is yes: “How long have you been together? Is he/she “the one”? When are you going to get married?”
…Like it’s some rush to complete this perceived, proper life to-do list, and you’ve failed if you haven’t checked all the boxes.
People have been conditioned to think these things matter so much, when they actually don’t. And as for the perceived need to justify the answers… it’s really not anyone else’s business.
Valentine’s Day shouldn’t be a day to justify your current life, either. Whether single or taken, you’re enough on your own.